Life gives us teachable moments every day, and even though I hadn’t planned for it, I think this is one of them.
Here I am at home, in bed, dealing with a running stomach and a migraine, the kind that makes even looking at a screen feel like work. Then my phone rings, and on the other end of it is urgency, not concern.
“The client is waiting. Send the email now.”
The work itself was never the issue, the problem was the manner in which it was asked, especially given that they knew I hadn’t been feeling well. There was no awareness that I might not be operating at full capacity, not even "fake" concern for my well-being. It came through as a demand, as though my condition had no place in the conversation.
That moment raised a few questions, or what I refer to as "the teachable moment":
What if I was just an employee?
Would I have felt comfortable saying I am not able to handle this right now, or would I have dragged myself to the laptop anyway, not because I could, but because I felt I had no choice?
Would I have felt valued, or would I have felt that I am only useful as long as I have something to give, and of little value the moment I’m not able to, even for human reasons?
That is where culture shows itself clearly, not in policies or presentations but in everyday interactions where people are either treated with consideration or taken for granted and expected to always be available.
When someone is the only one who can deliver a critical task, that reality calls for greater awareness, and should shape how the request is made, with respect and awareness, not entitlement. That said, respect is not selective, it should be extended to everyone equally, consistently.
Now place that same situation in the hands of someone with less voice, less influence, and fewer options to push back. They "will" still deliver, but at a cost. Over time, that cost shows up in disengagement, quiet withdrawal, and eventually, departure.
But even before it gets there, the signs of disengagement are already visible. Signs such as absenteeism, people being physically present but emotionally disconnected, work delivered, yes, but often at the bare minimum.
Many people in positions of title and power forget the fundamentals of respect. People may acknowledge your position by complying, but they decide how to treat you based on how you speak, consider others, and carry yourself, especially when it would be easier not to.
In whatever role you operate in, remember this, genuine respect is not something you assign or demand, it is something you EARN.
So before making that next “urgent” call, pause and ask yourself:
How am I showing up in this moment? Will I leave this conversation having shown empathy, or revealed just how pathetic my approach can be? Will the person on the other end feel engaged, or will they hang up feeling used?
There is a difference between engaging someone and using them. One builds trust and commitment, the other slowly drains both.
In whatever you do, choose empathy. Choose respect.
Treat people like people, not donkeys to be used. Heck, even donkeys get tired and kick out in frustration sometimes.
Be Ignited. Be Inspired. Be Influenced. Become the best version of yourself you can ever be.
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