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Time for the hard question; Who is to blame?

October 01, 2012

I always look forward to Sunday afternoons because that's normally my time to relax my mind, reflect on the week that was and make mental notes for the next week. Besides that, I also take this time to catch up with repeats of TV shows I might have missed in the week. So this weekend was no different and as I always do on Sunday afternoons, I  tuned into Citizen and found was delighted to find them airing one of my favorite shows; "Tahidi High".

To summarize the day's plot, there's this spoilt boy who made an attempt to rape Tanya. However, before he could succeed, the head-girl Becky walked in on them and immediately called for help. Shockingly, the boy did not see what was wrong with his actions and unleashed some major arrogance saying stuff like "do you know who my father is and what he could do to your school?"… in short, it was quite clear how spoilt he was. Anyway, that did not stop Miss Morgan, the deputy head mistress, from calling the police.
It was while waiting for them to arrive that the boy's father arrived and tried to "resolve the issue". His way of doing this caught my attention….
  • He tried to bribe her to kill the story
  • Wanted to buy her silence by "taking care of her and the School" from then going forward
  • When she refused to be bribed, he threatened to have Miss Morgan fired by the board and her reputation maligned since he knew big-shots within the board 
I liked how Miss Morgan handled the situation. His name dropping did not in any way move her. In fact, she told the man on his face that he stank of cheap arrogance (+1 to Miss Morgan), and as long as she was alive and working at Tahidi High, her priority would always be to protect the students and the school in general. Obviously with that kind of a response, it meant that the whole situation went unlike the boy's father had anticipated; all because one little lady by the name of Miss Morgan refused to be corrupted or intimated by some man whose way of life spelt C-O-R-R-U-P-T-I-O-N.
After this show ended I was left asking myself very many questions. For instance, 
  • What values (or lack of) was this man teaching his boy? How to avoid taking responsibility for his actions?
  • The fact that the he (the boy) had no remorse for his actions but instead was so arrogant and disrespectful to his seniors, can you imagine the person he will be once he is all grown up?
  • Then he gets his own family, what values will he transfer to his own children? 
At the end of it all, unless God intervenes, the likelihood of this becoming a vicious cycle is very high. Why do I say this? Because values are passed on from one generation to another. Like the good book says, teach a child something when he is young, and he will never forget; meaning whatever you teach him (good or bad) is what he will grow up knowing and practicing, and needless to say, it is the same thing he will transfer to his own children when he does get them.
With parents like this, how then do we expect to have a corruption-free nation, continent and world out there? Are these not the same people who hold prestigious positions in their companies? The corrupt leaders we have in our governments, are they not parents too? (Probably to more children than their legitimate families even know….) But besides their own children, what are they teaching others? For instance, all the young people who have been following the unfolding saga of Ferdinand Waititu in Kenya, what are they learning from all that? How will you tell a young child that using abusive language is wrong, when the president himself can stand before multitudes and call someone "mavi ya kuku"?
Values, morals, good behavior, character, etc are all built from home. As a parent/guardian, if you lead by example, then your children will by default follow your example without a hassle. If you teach them (by example) how to be accountable and responsible for each and every one of their actions, then by default as they grow up they will follow this lead. In school, at home, with friends in the neighborhood, at the malls, later in college and finally in their positions at work, it will be quite evident that their character is different.
Who is to blame?
Who is to blame?
So let's stop asking ourselves why we have so many corrupt leaders both in government and in the private sector. It is a baton that has been passed on from several generations before us, and from the look of things, it is going to go on for several other generations to come, unless like I said earlier, God intervenes or we who are living at this time decide to make a conscious decision to stop this madness . 
Let's stop asking why there are so many dysfunctional families in our midst today or why there is so much immorality in the region today. How do you expect your daughter to behave when she finds out that you, her father, is cheating on her mother? Or her mother is cheating on her father? Isn't that clearly planting a seed of infidelity in her? Why wouldn't she think of cheating on her own husband when she eventually gets married? After all, her parents used to do it, so it can't be wrong, or what do you think?
What kind of an example are you setting as a father if all you do at home is shout at your wife like she has some ear defect, using demeaning words and insulting her at will, right in front of your children? Are you not teaching your sons how not to respect women in future? You can rest assured the same way you treat their mother is the same way they will treat their wives because they learnt from the best; you, their father. 
Monkey see, monkey do; it is as simple as that.
Every single thing we do has a ripple effect; and sometimes the ripples go further than we could ever have imagined they would. If we want to see change in our governments and offices, we must be the ambassadors of change first, and as we become accountable and responsible for our actions, the children we are bringing up now will soon be consumed by the positive change and as years go by the corrupt generations, the dysfunctional families, etc will diminish until eventually the process of restoring values to our community becomes complete.
Be the change you want to see.



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very interesting but in one line i think charity begins at home.

Well put Bob.... it all begins with us.

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