"Ng'ombe wewe"....... "Muone, anatembea kama bata" ........ "Kichwa ngumu tu kama baba yake" ..........."You are just a useless human being" ....... "another poor excuse of a human being" ..... etc etc 

These are some common derogatories I am sure you must have heard in your neighbourhood at some point; maybe those neighbours who are always fighting, or some idlers sitting at "Jobless Corner" commenting after a certain woman passes, or it could be you being told this by someone. Yes, as sad as it is to think about this, some people have to live with such words every day of their lives. 

If you are husband and you keep calling your wife a cow, why then are you surprised when she starts walking like one, looking like one (in terms of size) and simply just not bothering with her looks? Afterall, she is a cow, right? If you are a parent and you keep calling your children stupid and daft, why then do you get surprised when they bring straight "Fs" from school? You keep calling someone bad names and soon enough they start behaving as per your words.

As simple and as fragile as the tongue looks, it is the most dangerous weapon we posses as human beings. Infact, the good book clearly says that there is power of life and death in the tongue. Whatever you speak has the power to make or break, depending on how it is used. Infact, I personally think that hurting words sink deeper and stay longer in someone's mind than positive words do.

It really doesn't matter whether the words are good or bad, but just like a bullet, once words are fired, you cannot recall them. Someone correctly said,"Words are like bullets: when well aimed, they have a pretty hard effect" ... If the words were sent out to build, then they will definitely build, and if they were sent out to destroy, then this result will be achieved too. 

You will agree with me that there is alot of negative energy in the world today without us adding more. We should make it a part of our lifestyle to speak building words even when all we want to do at that time is curse someone. As we learn to do this, slowly our speech will become different and whereas it was so easy for us to hurl insults at each other, now we become cautious of our words and how we use them. Every word that comes from us should spread betterness and not bitterness.

As for those of us who have had to deal with hurting words every now and then, please don't let those words put you down. Infact, you are a very important person and that is why out of all the millions of sperms that went looking for directions in your mother's womb, the one that produced you is the only one that hit the right spot! So if you've been thinking you are a mistake, please erase that thought from your mind and start seeing yourself like you should; a person with a purpose, regardless of what those around you think.

So the next time you want to say something to someone, please ask yourself, "Will my words make or break this person?"